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Published on April 1st 2017

Are you bothered by the overuse of tech buzzwords?

Tiger Eye launches today a revolutionary new cloud-based software package: Cumulo-NimbAI.

Cumulo-NimbAI has been developed to reduce the stress caused by overuse of buzz concepts in the technology sector. “We are sick and tired of being asked over and over again about the difference between AI and machine-learning,” complained a module** of IT managers. “There’s a massive gap in the market for a product like this. We need to remember that most people neither understand nor care, and don’t want to feel like this every time they see AI brought up yet again.”

Once transfer of funds has been acknowledged, top-secret technology using the latest AI developments, and encircled by cutting-edge cybersecurity measures, is activated. Cumulo-NimbAI’s electro-magnetic field silently embraces the user and guinea pigs describe the experience: “a drowsy numbness pains my sense, then I feel the cloud envelop me and lift me. I can see clearly now the rain has gone.”

It has taken the Tiger Eye developers only TWO MINUTES to develop this revolutionary new system – that’s two minutes as measured on a galactic slingshot of a black hole, which as any aficionado of the film Interstellar will be aware, is broadly equivalent to 7 years of Earth time.

At 11:59 a.m. on April 1st, Cumulo-NimbAI has been programmed to generate a raging electrical storm, fuelled by the anger and despair of PMs up and down the land after spending too long with developers. It will self-destruct by noon, so this is a limited-time offer. Get it now while it’s floating.

**this is indeed the preferred collective noun, honest.

1.4.17/TEC/CB/gotcha